The Difference Between Chasing And Attraction - Part 2
The community I didn’t know I needed
🎬 Sometimes the story keeps writing itself even after it ends – A behind-the-scenes moment is waiting at the end of this post, for The Secret Journey members only.
📍Da Nang, Vietnam
After the potential date from part one bailed on me, I found myself sitting alone at a beach bar — and I had no idea the night was just getting started.
I continued to the next bar on the beach. I was already there, might as well have something to drink.
While chatting with one of the friends I'd met here, she sent me a Facebook event link - a digital nomads meetup at one of the local bars, happening... right now!
"You have to go there!" she urged me.
My eyes widened. How had I still not joined any groups here? And I was leaving soon. Learning the lesson pretty late.
What particularly caught my attention in the event description was: "For shy nomads, don't worry! I'm with you! I'll personally welcome you and introduce you to the group, come!"
I felt like he was speaking directly to me and to the fear I'd forgotten I had.
I quickly finished my cocktail and headed toward the event.
I approached and saw about 30 people talking to each other in groups. No music, just the sounds of noisy conversations from people at the bar who had probably already had a beer or two. Some were discussing business, some were laughing, and everyone seemed to have connected immediately.
"Oh no" my shy side panicked, because I didn't really know how to approach this thing, and I'd arrived fashionably late.
I noticed some people were there unrelated to the event, some sitting at the bar looking like they occupied the same chair even when the place was closed. Some of us sat at tables pushed to the side, sort of observers of the central area. Yes, that sounded like a place that suited me.
I ordered an alcoholic cider, which is the drink I order to test the waters. If I wanted something stronger later, I'd do it, and if I wanted to stop drinking, I'd stop in time.
I sat at the edge of the table while asking one of the guys sitting there if I could sit down. He answered yes and immediately started a conversation.
His friend and he were traveling from France, had been here two days, and were moving on to Thailand. The conversation was superficial and one I'd had dozens of times, so my attention was elsewhere.
I looked at people talking passionately with each other, everyone sweating because it was hot (very hot). Though I couldn't hear the conversations, the energy was mesmerizing. I felt this was something I wanted, but I stayed put, giving myself time.
While sitting there, seeing heads upon heads of people, I noticed a particular guy. When I looked toward the area, a gap opened between people, and the guy stood at the other end of the area facing me, so I could see all of him, and he could see all of me.
It looked like those movie scenes where a gap opens in the crowd and you see someone standing out with an aura around them. Our eyes met, I smiled at him, he smiled back.
He got absorbed in conversation with those around him, and suddenly another guy approached me (yes, it was a networking event, I had trouble keeping track too). He asked if I'd come to the meetup and introduced himself as the organizer. "Yes!" I was so happy he found me.
We chatted a bit, and I immediately confessed I was the shy person he'd addressed in the event description, and this was my first time at such an event. He laughed and said, "Don't worry! Everyone here is very nice!"
He was very kind, we talked about Da Nang, about nomadism. He told his story - born in France but living here for two years, he builds websites and mainly enjoys organizing such events.
After a few minutes, more people arrived, they already knew him, and naturally said hello to him, creating some kind of interesting conversation circle where everyone knew each other. Suddenly, I realized I was still sitting in my chair, and I felt I had to get up.
The conversation continued as we moved toward the bar. Now I felt more comfortable. I met such interesting people, most of them from France. It was a refreshing coincidence.
One was starting a business alone in crypto, another managed Google ads. Everyone had found a way to fulfill their nomadic dream. We were all so happy to be here.
Suddenly, I understood what everyone talks about when they mention community.
Then I realized how pleasant it is to meet people similar to me, who have the same worldview as mine. Each in their own way, but the lifestyle choice was the same choice.
This was the first time I'd ever felt like this. In my life.
I remembered the feelings I had back home, how I always felt like I didn't belong, wasn't in the groove, was weird. And here, I wasn't weird. There were so many other people doing what I do, who made the same choices, who cared about the same things.
It didn't matter where we came from; what mattered was where we are now, and where we're heading.
Every time I introduced myself, someone told me, "Ah! There's a guy here named Israel! But he's from Venezuela!" and we'd laugh about it.
I was curious if I'd get to talk to him. There were so many people there, and I found myself getting absorbed in conversations even though I wanted to manage to talk to everyone.
I loved how people simply stood next to us and joined the conversation. I felt this was something that really embarrassed me to do - simply standing next to two or three people talking, and once they finished their exchange, naturally joining the conversation. Saying hi, shaking hands, introducing myself, and asking their names.
And here I saw people doing it so naturally, apparently they were experienced, and apparently that's how it works. I felt I'd learned another feature, and this time, it was extremely useful.
So it turned out the people I talked to changed, the circle around me shifted, I introduced myself several times, and each time it felt right, unlike previous occasions. I moved step by step, until suddenly the person standing next to me was that same guy I'd seen at the beginning of the evening at the other end of the area. He smiled at me and said, "Hi, nice to meet you".
Suddenly, I realized I'd talked to so many people and made the entire journey from the other end of the venue until I reached him.
He told me he was from Cape Town, had a marketing company, and had lived in Dubai and Australia for several years. The conversation with him was fascinating, his story was inspiring, and I had so many questions for him that he was happy to answer.
A girl from Indonesia and that guy from Venezuela joined our conversation. We managed to chat a bit until everyone started dispersing, and the organizer said, "See you tomorrow, right?", sparking our curiosity.
"What's tomorrow?" we asked, confused, and he told us there was another meetup tomorrow at one of the bars on the same street. "Come, it'll be fun!"
So we called it a night and agreed to meet tomorrow. I was so happy that this evening happened, that I learned so much, and that I met new people. For a moment, I forgot the reason I'd left the house that evening and remembered how wonderful it is when everything goes wrong for the better.
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