Conversations at Altitude: Thoughts Between Heaven and Earth
Journey Beyond Border 🌎 When the skies open my mind, and my heart starts to speak
When I'm in the air, between one destination and another, something interesting happens inside me – my thoughts gain space for deeper reflection. Here are two such moments from different flights – one to Darwin and one to New Zealand – where I found myself in internal conversations that revealed truths about who I am and the journey I'm on.
📍 Flight to Darwin | 08.29.2024
The morning of my flight arrived, bringing with it a mix of emotions. My last shift before departure was tense, as I tried to finish early to reach the airport on time. But beneath that thin layer of pressure, excitement bubbled within me like an electric current.
This excitement was more than just a momentary adrenaline rush. It was confirmation, a sweet reminder that I'd chosen the right life path for myself. A life filled with moments like these, that fill me with energy and passion. Flight day has always been a unique experience for me, a dizzying blend of anticipation and apprehension.
As an experienced traveler, I've learned the hard lesson – it's better to arrive early and wait than to rush at the last minute. Flights are a delicate matter, not something you can simply postpone for "ten minutes." So I plan backward – if the flight is at eight, I calculate my arrival time at the airport, check-in time, and add generous margins for unexpected delays.
Sometimes I find myself at the airport hours before my flight, but that's perfectly fine with me. After all, what would I be doing at home? Sitting in front of my computer, editing videos, and chatting with artificial intelligence. These are all things I can do anywhere, anytime.
And then, like lightning on a clear night, I realized – I have the life I've always dreamed of. I always wanted to be a digital nomad, and suddenly I understood that's exactly what I am. I have a business plan, I have tasks and goals, and I know how to achieve them. Most importantly, I'm enjoying every step along the way.
Sometimes an inner voice whispers, "But you haven't earned a dollar yet." But I silence it confidently. I know the money will come. All I need to do is continue on my path, complete the tasks I've set for myself, and create my own success.
The waiting hours at the airport turned out to be a time of insight. I realized I'm not actually stressed, just responsible. I've learned from past mistakes, but now I'm completely serene, confident in my steps and decisions.
When I boarded the flight to Darwin, I knew I was fulfilling yet another dream on my infinite list. From the day I understood that no one else would fulfill my dreams except me, I turned self-fulfillment into a routine. Every day, I choose to fulfill my dreams, and it gives me tremendous self-confidence. It's proof of my self-love and my infinite potential.
The flight itself passed relatively easily. Although I planned to watch the new season of "Emily in Paris," I found myself sinking into deep sleep. Even the baby's crying that penetrated through my noise-canceling headphones couldn't disturb me.
That crying stirred thoughts about myself as a baby. According to stories, I was an especially whiny baby – screeching, yelling, and crying non-stop. I wonder what caused this. Was it a misunderstanding from my parents? A lack of words to express myself? Maybe I was crying about the life I had in a previous incarnation? Or perhaps about the life that was yet to come?
I wonder if, from age zero, I arrived in the world with communication difficulties. Was the terrible crying part of that? After all, it was my only way to communicate with the world, and even then, I wasn't understood.
If I could, I would want to ask the baby I was why she cries so much. I would want to explain to her that I understand her frustration, the feeling that no one understands her, that no one can meet her needs, because she herself doesn't know what they are.
I would want to tell her that she will still discover herself, that all the difficulties and obstacles along the way will be a necessary lesson for her. Through them, she will learn to choose herself, to listen to herself, to put herself before others. It will come, but only after she passes through life's masks.
I would tell her it's worth it, quite darkly, admittedly. A heroine needs to go through a process, and this is the course written for her. "I understand why you're crying," I would say, "but look, after the darkness will come light. You will flourish, you will find your meaning, and bring happiness to the world. Trust me."
You didn't just come here for no reason, even though that's what you think. Life on this planet isn't just about 90 years of fun and that's it. There's much more beyond that, you'll still learn. You'll meet people who will influence you – let them. You will influence others, too.
You will love, or be disappointed. Let it happen, let all the feelings flood you. It will take time, I know, because you'll try to block yourself in every way, just not to feel pain. You'll choose apathy and lose faith in people, again and again. But there will come a moment in life when you'll understand that you've succeeded.
That moment will come and you'll understand that you're living the life you always wanted, that you chose yourself, and you're no longer trapped in any emotional prison from the past. Your soul will break out in a way you didn't think about, and you'll discover the magical secrets of the universe. So cry now, to get it out of your system. Let's leave the crying there, at that age, and start a journey of healthy communication with the universe. You'll see that we'll still succeed.
When I reflect on all this, I understand how far I've come from that whiny baby. Today, I know how to express myself, understand my needs, and act to fulfill them. This journey – from a helpless baby to a grown woman fulfilling her dreams – is a testament to my willpower and determination.
And perhaps, ultimately, all the crying and frustration of that baby were the first seeds of my aspiration to understand myself and the world around me. Maybe they were the beginning of the journey that led me here, to this flight, to my next adventure.
📍 Flight from Melbourne to New Zealand | 01.29.2025
I woke up at 6:30 to my new morning routine. "Today it's happening," I told myself, "today I'm leaving Melbourne."
Two hours of final packing, and most of the morning editing video, because how can you summarize two years in a few minutes? It's not simple, but you have to try.
The time came to take a taxi to the central station, and from there a bus to the airport. Just like every flight of mine from Melbourne, except this time the words "until next time" feel more distant than ever.
"Wow, so many people," I was surprised to discover that the airport bus was filled, and a long line was waiting for the next bus. "Oh, right," I remembered, "January-February here is like July-August for us – peak tourism season."
With my backpack and large suitcase, I arrived at the airport early and without delays. Everything flowed smoothly until the check-in moment.
"Oops," the thought crossed my mind when I realized I'd forgotten to check in early. "Only middle seats remain," the agent pointed to the blinking screen, and didn't need to prove it – the digital map spoke for itself.
"Not terrible," I comforted myself, "it's only a three-hour flight, and I woke up early, so I'll probably be tired."
Life has already taught me to eat before leaving, but the thought "there's nowhere to buy food" always triggers psychological hunger in me. So I found myself buying chicken pad-thai for $25 – classic airport pricing.
Boarding the plane, I heard the flight attendant asking the couple in front of me: "You're sitting at the emergency exit, can you assist in case of emergency?"
"How nice for them," I thought, and then it was my turn.
"You're sitting at the emergency exit, can you assist in case of emergency?" The question was directed at me this time.
"Certainly!" I answered aloud, and in my head added with a smile, "I'm experienced with emergency exits!"
When I woke up mid-flight, I felt a slight hunger gnawing at me. "I'll eat when I get to Auckland," I told myself.
"Why not now?" a small voice asked in my head.
"Because I don't want to disturb the guy sitting in the aisle," I answered myself, trying to justify the sacrifice. "It's okay, I'm not that hungry."
But as time passed, the hunger grew, and I realized how silly this decision was – not eating to avoid disturbing someone else.
"Why are you giving up on yourself again?" my inner voice insisted. "Put yourself first. You're hungry – so eat, what's the problem?"
I got up and asked him to step out, even though the aisle was wide enough. He just happened to be the tallest man on the plane. He stood up, I took my pad-thai and returned to my seat.
"See? That wasn't so difficult," I re-educated myself.
I started eating calmly, enjoying every bite, until a new thought troubled me: "Maybe the smell is bothering them?" I thought about people who get annoyed when someone opens a clementine on the bus. "Oh no, I hope I'm not being that person."
"And what if you are?" my inner voice insisted. "So what if someone thinks it smells?"
"Then someone will think something bad about me."
"And then what will happen?"
"They won't like me."
And there I reached the source – thanks to writing that exposed this deep truth. The need for love, the need for acceptance, the need to please – all connected by one thread.
I have a deep belief, embedded in my soul, that I need to please others so they'll love me. Help my parents so they'll love me, please my partners so they'll love me. Sacrifice myself so they'll love me.
Ugh. I don't want to carry these beliefs anymore. I want to feel free, to know that people will love me for who I am, not because of how much I help and please others.
I finished this self-therapy just as we started landing. Interestingly, flights mainly cause me to reach the depths of my soul – perhaps it's the ultimate meditation, when there are no distractions, just me and my noise-canceling headphones, hearing my breaths and peeking into the cracks in my soul.
We landed in New Zealand, and the experience was magical. On the way to passport control, sounds of birds and animals played through speakers, gorgeous landscapes were displayed on the walls, and it felt like I'd arrived at a nature reserve.
At the exit from the arrivals hall stood a row of girls in sports uniforms, singing an anthem in the local language. It was a beautiful and pleasant way to land in a new country.
What's interesting is that precisely during flights, I manage to reach the depths of my soul – perhaps it's the ultimate form of meditation, when there are no distractions, just me and my noise-canceling headphones, hearing my breaths and peeking into the fragments within my soul.
Whether it's understanding that I'm already fulfilling my childhood dreams or confronting deep-rooted fears, these flights remind me that my inner journey is just as important as my physical journey between different destinations around the world.
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Who Am I? | The Journey Through Time | The Daily Journey
Thanks for sharing part of your day! It's human nature to want approval and love from others. But at various times, no matter how hard you work, the things and people in this world will disappoint. So, feeling a constant, unconditional love is what's needed. The right spiritual aspect gives this. I don't write a whole lot about spirituality in my substack because people need to find their own. But finding one that gives unconditional love provides a grounded undertone of security that turns a mindset crash into a bump in the road.
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