A Week in Paradise that Felt Like Hell: The Challenging Side of Koh Samui - Part 1
No one warned me that a week in paradise could sometimes feel like hell. Four days in Koh Samui for my dad's 70th birthday started as a dream and turned. . . into something else entirely. When we planned water activities, I didn't think I'd discover muscles I didn't know existed, certainly not from pain.
Or that I'd seriously consider calling an emergency helicopter from the middle of the sea. Here are two days that taught me the real price of adrenaline in Thailand's blue waters - and why it was still worth every moment.
📍 Koh Samui, Thailand | January 19, 2023
It's not a race, but if it was, I would lose.
Today we did a private island tour on jet skis. After debating, we took the longest tour - two jet skis, my uncle, two brothers, and me. I arrived excited, having never ridden a jet ski before.
My brother behind me, I hit the gas, trying to go straight. All I felt was instability, like I could fall any moment. I couldn't pick up speed because I was scared, and only after a few minutes did I get the hang of it.
I stopped the jet ski and we switched places. My brother drove, and he looked born for this. Ah, so that's how it's supposed to be.
We reached 75 km/h, crashing into waves like they owed us something. The way to the island felt endless, almost an hour. An hour where I told myself maybe we should have taken the shorter tour.
I felt that if I didn't hold onto my brother tightly on his life vest, I'd soon find myself in the water. The boys acted like boys, thinking it was a race (it wasn't), splashing water at each other, while I just hoped we'd reach the island safely. Those who drove were thrilled by how fun it was, while those riding pillion twisted in pain.
The jumps from the waves really hurt the pelvic bones, and the effort not to fly off tensed up every muscle, not to mention the fear that raised the heart rate. We reached an island called Pig Island, yes you read that right. Wild pigs live here and all they do is eat and wallow in mud.
I thought it was just an expression, but that's exactly it.
Around the island is a beautiful beach, the kind that feels criminal not to photograph. We were there for an hour and then set off again.
Back on the jet skis, this time it's a short ride, about ten minutes. We switched partners and I rode behind my uncle. We arrived at a trail through the jungle, or rather a swamp, where we served as a mosquito buffet, but at least the path was interesting.
We talked to the guide who told us there are sometimes many crocodiles here, that he comes to fish and leaves with a big haul. Ah, and that he also hunts snakes, eats them, and sells them. Snakes, such cute creatures, isn't it a pity?
Apparently he makes good money from them (relatively speaking for Thailand). Done with the jungle, okay I'm ready to go home now.
Now?
You must mean another hour until we return to our island. Shit. The way back was hell.
My pelvic bones were already really hurting from all the jumps, my skin was chafing on the jet ski's leather seat (next time I'll wear pants - hahaha as if there'll be a next time). Midway I was in so much pain, even though my uncle drove excellently, the sea is a harsh place. For a moment I thought maybe it would be better to just fall into the water for a bit, I had a life vest on, it's not like I'd drown.
I was losing it, because every few minutes I'd see a shore that I thought was our beach but the guide kept going past island after island after island.
When we finally arrived, I got off the jet ski and couldn't walk because all my muscles were seized up.
I felt utterly drained, like a truck had run me over. My other brother who had ridden pillion on the competing jet ski (it wasn't a competition) described exactly the same feeling. Yes, this tour was tough for me, and painful, but it was also fun and mostly hilarious.
That's just how we are, finding laughter in everything. In the afternoon, after we had calmed down a bit, we went to a restaurant my brother had booked in advance, The Jungle Club. It's an incredibly special restaurant, on the edge of a hill, with the drive there full of steep inclines.
We arrived an hour before sunset, and saw a breathtaking view. No wonder the place is booked solid weeks in advance. Besides the amazing view, the food is simply excellent, the portions huge, the cocktails on point, all creating an exceptional experience together.
In the evening we went for a short drink, and on the way to the hotel I stopped for a massage because my body desperately needed it after that day. I went to bed early, gearing up for the big day tomorrow.
📍 Koh Samui, Thailand | January 20, 2023
A 70th Birthday on a Stormy Yacht
Yesterday my dad celebrated his 70th birthday. For that, we all gathered in Thailand for three weeks together, to accumulate experiences.
And what experiences they were. We sent dad off for breakfast, and we all arrived together wearing shirts we had made for him, plus a special one just for him. My brother, the mastermind behind this trip, had pre-planned a surprise for this day, or rather multiple surprises, the first being a private yacht cruise.
We were so excited, because the reviews were amazing (the cruise is ranked #1 on TripAdvisor). At the last minute, friends from Berlin joined the celebration, so there were nine of us in total. We boarded the two-level yacht, the lower enclosed level containing a kitchen, tables and seating, and the upper open-air level full of bean bags.
The crew was courteous and lovely, the weather perfect. They explained we had a two and a half hour journey to some island, then we'd sail for 15 minutes to an island with an amazing viewpoint, and from there sail 40 minutes to an incredible snorkeling area, before returning home.
After recent events, we wisely took seasickness pills. The waves were crashing into the yacht and rocking it properly. Some of us started feeling unwell above deck, deciding to go below.
Luckily dad felt fine and showed no signs of weakness. My uncle was the first to vomit, with my brother quickly joining him. Those who remained above tried to figure out the least nauseating position.
Better to stand? Sit? On the bean bags?
On the floor? Be careful not to fall! I went below thinking it might be better, but the opposite was true.
Just a few minutes passed before I vomited too. It could have been less awful if our muscles weren't already seized up from the jet skis yesterday. We could barely move, I felt muscles I didn't know existed, my whole body aching, and now seasickness too.
I already envisioned us turning around and canceling the cruise. I started googling 'helicopters in Samui' because I know how stubborn we can be, and myself.
How the hell would we make it back the whole way? We finally reached the island, just lying on the sand, unable or unwilling to move.
After a few minutes we already felt better. An hour passed, time to return to the yacht. "The next island is 15 minutes away, and we'll be sailing inside the lagoon so no waves" - the guide tried reassuring us. That part was indeed lovely.
We ate (again) a Thai-style breakfast - egg rolls, gyoza, spring rolls etc. , calmed down. We reached an island with a breathtaking viewpoint at the top of a hill, at the end of 300 steep steps. The youngsters jumped at the challenge, as did the 70-year-old birthday celebrant.
People on the beach saw his '70 YEARS YOUNG TODAY' shirt, congratulated him and marveled that he made it to the top. What do you mean made it? He's a ninja, he devours steps like that for breakfast (his third that day).
We took photos the whole way and returned to the boat, feeling more comfortable with the next 40 minutes. For lunch, the amazing chef prepared fried rice, vegetable noodles, fried fish, salad, and. . . . . . . . chicken schnitzel!!! Wow.
Didn't see that coming. A real schnitzel, almost like mom's! (Nothing beats mom's schnitzel) Or maybe it just tasted so good because I hadn't had real schnitzel since leaving Israel. I ate a little to avoid upsetting my stomach, but I was in raptures over the taste.
How did she even manage to fry in that rocking?! We reached the snorkeling area, the reef was amazing! Visibility was excellent, we saw many types of fish, it was beautiful!
Heading back, almost three hours, okay, the worst is behind us, or so I thought. It was already 5pm, the sun was nearly setting and a cold, strong wind was blowing above deck. I realized I had two options: stay above deck and risk pneumonia, or go below and likely vomit again.
I chose the second option, and so it was. Only now my body was utterly drained and I looked it - for the next two hours.
The day was over, I realized the sea is not the place for me, or maybe I was pushing it too hard? Either way, I'd probably stay on land for the foreseeable future. We'd leave the rest of the surprises for tomorrow.
Just before posting I noticed I had written 'shit' instead of 'cruise' multiple times. I fixed it of course, but maybe it was more accurate to leave it.
Despite the pain, nausea and vomiting, there was something unforgettable about this experience. Maybe it was the adrenaline, maybe the shared family laughter at all the absurd situations we found ourselves in. But mainly, seeing my 70-year-old "ninja" dad conquering physical challenges that floored people decades younger.
My body was screaming for rest, and I promised myself - over the next two days, I owed myself the ultimate pampering. An emergency massage, comfort food, and a dream hotel to balance out the madness we'd endured. [Story continued in the next post - "After the Storm: Pampering, Massage and Good Food in Koh Samui"]
Behind The Scenes
More stories from Thailand:
After the Storm: Pampering, Massage and Good Food in Koh Samui - Part 2
Between Plastic and Mint: Culture and Impressions from Bangkok
Resting Along the Way: On Sickness, Expectations, and Roadblocks
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