Privacy violation
Important warning for women travelers
📍Hoi An, Vietnam
During the stressed days in Hoi An, I wanted to get a massage to relax. I thought calming the body would help the soul, or maybe I hoped it would keep me away from Facebook for at least an hour. Maybe I could think about other things.
The massage itself was somewhat awkward. In any service industry you can feel when service providers don't really want to be there, and don't really feel like working.
That's how I felt - like they were just moving body parts from place to place, pressing the same spots over and over, and not in a pleasant way at all.
Fine, whatever. But when I got up from the treatment bed and got dressed, I noticed there was a camera pointing directly at the treatment bed.
Needless to say, I was wearing only underwear, as is customary in massage, and suddenly I felt so uncomfortable.
What's going on here?
I asked the masseuse and she immediately said "I don't know" in a tone that sounded like it was her automatic response.
When I asked the manager, she explained to me that "it's the law in Vietnam" and they must put cameras in businesses. She pointed to all the cameras at the entrance and above the register.
Of course you need cameras at the business entrance and register - but you absolutely cannot film people when they're not dressed without their consent! This is a violation of privacy!
I said, so confused. I didn't understand if I was making a scene or if this was really serious.
"It's to prevent sexual relations, because this is a spa without relations" she continued with excuses, and said with a light chuckle "Don't worry, this is Vietnam! The spa owner is a woman, don't worry!"
As if it matters to me who is watching videos of me naked, and as if that makes it okay!
I told her it really doesn't matter who's watching - you're not allowed to film! No spa here in the city, or in the world (!) has cameras inside the room, this is really not okay!
She said she deletes the videos every day, and "don't worry, I'll delete for you".
And if all this wasn't enough, she gave me a discount - which confirmed to me that she knows it's not okay, but doesn't want me to complain.
I left there really confused. Really. I didn't know what to do - what do you do in a situation like this?
Is this really so terrible? Why do I feel this way? What am I feeling anyway?
I immediately told ChatGPT what happened, and it confirmed that this is really not okay, and it's completely understandable that I feel uncomfortable. After all, they filmed me without my consent, when I was without clothes. This is definitely a violation.
I asked what could be done, and it suggested that if I have strength and time I could go to the police, but it could be a tiring and exhausting process, and it's not certain they speak English, and not certain they'll do anything at all.
The best thing I can do is tell about the incident in groups and leave reviews on Google and TripAdvisor so maybe other people will see and be warned about this spa.
That's exactly what I did.
This experience affected me throughout the day. I didn't smile anymore, couldn't think about anything good. I just ate - very emotional eating.
As if during all these days with war stress emotional eating hadn't already completely taken over me. I can't stop eating these days, I feel like no matter what I eat I'm still hungry.
It's exhausting, but I deeply understand this need to "feel good now". On days like these, fear and anxiety take up all the space, and there's not much left for joy and peace.
Why am I telling this story?
Because this can happen to any of you. Because you need to know there are things that are simply not okay, even if someone tries to convince us it's "normal" or "legal".
Because you need to know you can and should respond, even if it's uncomfortable. Even if you're not sure you're making a "scene".
Because you need to know you're not overreacting when something feels wrong to you - your feeling is correct.
What to learn from this?
In any spa or treatment center, before you undress, look around. If you see a camera - ask. If the answer doesn't convince you - leave.
It's not "normal" to film clients during treatments without their explicit consent. No matter what excuse they give.
If this happened to you - you don't need to feel guilty or embarrassed. It's not your fault.
And if you have strength - tell your story. Write a review. Warn others. That's the most important thing you can do.
The most important point
Don't let anyone make you feel like you're overreacting when something feels wrong to you about your body, your privacy, your boundaries.
Your feeling is correct. Your body belongs to you. Your right to privacy is a basic right.
It doesn't matter what country you're in, it doesn't matter what "laws" someone claims exist. There are things that are simply not okay, period.
And you don't need to be polite or "understanding" when someone violates your basic rights.
Trust your inner voice. It's right.
Your support helps me to continue experiencing new worlds and sharing them with you through my words. Sometimes, a single cup of coffee can make a difference.
Thank you for being part of this journey.
Thanks for sharing this info. Filming massage clients is definitely creepy. I'm proud of you for standing up for yourself.