🎬 Sometimes the story keeps writing itself even after it ends – A behind-the-scenes moment is waiting at the end of this post, for The Secret Journey members only.
📍Hoi An, Vietnam
One evening in Hoi An, after a cooking class packed with conversations in the morning, I thought it would be good to go for a short walk. It always helps me digest the day, especially after talking non-stop with interesting people for hours.
It was still early for a bar - nine in the evening. Yes, that's early for a bar, but there was still an interesting atmosphere there. Sometimes I look for an air-conditioned place to eat, sometimes something cheap, and sometimes I want good music. This evening was the third type.
I almost fell for it again when they offered me 1+1 on cocktails. It's the local trick - they make everything else on the menu look "not worth it," and suddenly it's better to order two cocktails because they cost the same as a beer. But I didn't give in to temptation this time and ordered... a bottle of water.
Yes. Apparently the only party pooper here.
I came to eat, because I've been fantasizing about pizza for a while now. Yes, I know I'm talking about walking and fitness and then pizza in the same sentence - that's life, and I'm not perfect. Truth is, I have an unexplained weakness for pizza. I assume I'm not the only one.
I ordered the pizza, and after my water bottle arrived, I turned my head to the group sitting behind me. I got a huge smile and wave from one of the guys. He looked completely drunk. I laughed.
A few minutes passed and he took a chair and simply sat at my table. I was surprised he could even stand up.
He's a chef from the US, lives here in Vietnam, wants to start an "authentic" Mexican restaurant - not "Mexican-American." I started wondering if everyone talks like this - wanting the special, specific, authentic thing, and "not like everyone else." I heard myself in that, and wondered if it sounds cliché.
Are there people who say "I want to open a business just like everyone else"?
He complimented me a lot, but something in his glazed look, the things he said, and the fact that I had to repeat everything twice, confirmed my feeling that he was completely drunk.
Then something lovely happened. An older couple was sitting at the table next to me, and the woman approached me and asked: "Are you safe?"
I assume you could see the dynamic from a distance. The way she expressed concern touched my heart - it was simply beautiful.
"Yes, he's not harmful," I laughed with her as my pizza arrived. I chatted with her a bit and hoped maybe the guy would get the hint, but after a moment I realized he wouldn't understand a billboard right now.
At that moment I remembered the homework I'd given myself - setting boundaries and saying "no." Here it was, a gift from the universe in a bar in Vietnam. How exciting!
I finished the conversation with the woman and turned to the guy: "You're great but I'd prefer to eat my pizza now, so maybe we can talk later, okay?"
While saying this, I remembered all the guys who had approached me while I was eating pizza, and realized pizza always wins. Maybe someone should tell them not to compete with pizza?
"You don't like me" he said and his face changed.
"I just want to eat my pizza now, that's all," I said. He got up and went back to his spot, and I turned my attention to my pizza, which was... a complete disappointment.
I thought about getting up and leaving, but then a woman approached me and sat down. I had seen her sitting at the table with that same drunk guy, and wondered if this was attempt number two. Aren't we past the age of sending someone else in your name?
After a few words I already understood that she was also completely drunk, and she gave me confirmation when she said: "I'm completely drunk!"
She's from Australia, we started talking about Australia, about Vietnam, about how she's here with her second husband because the first one left her for a man, about her son who's dating a Vietnamese girl, and about life itself. The conversation with her was more interesting than I expected.
I wondered if she was going to ask me why I refused the guy, but I think they met here at the bar, and maybe to both of them I looked like someone who really wants to talk.
I told her I write and she immediately took out her phone and said she wanted to follow me. She could barely type in her unlock code and I wondered what she'll remember of all this tomorrow.
We said goodbye. This time I told myself: "That's it. Enough. I've talked to enough people today. My battery is dead. I want to go home."
I asked for the check and the waitress saw that I barely ate the pizza, and asked if the pizza wasn't good. I didn't think about it, just made a sour face and said "not really." I wasn't expecting anything, just telling the truth.
She immediately said she was sorry and called the manager, who came and asked what was wrong. Wow, I didn't know there was this level of service here.
"The pizza doesn't have much flavor," I said, trying to be gentle.
He sent a photo to the chef and said he'd check with him, and I didn't really understand the rest of the sentence.
The waitress already came back with my change, and I complimented her on her nails which were specially decorated.
"Thank you!" she answered and asked where I'm from.
We exchanged a few words until I asked how old she was.
"20! Yesterday was my birthday!" she jumped with excitement.
"Oh! Happy birthday!" I said with the remainder of my strength.
"Thank you! OMG I have to show you how I celebrated!" and she sat at the table, showing me photos and videos on her phone - how she went with friends to Da Nang beach to surf together.
What is this, musical chairs here? Am I on a talk show and didn't know? Why does someone else sit at my table every moment?
I felt like I was on zero battery. Even though the waitress was lovely, and with the enthusiasm of a twenty-year-old she captivated me, I didn't fully understand everything she said.
A few minutes passed until the place started filling up and the manager called her to help. She gave me a hug and I felt I had to get up now, or someone else might sit here.
On the way back to the apartment I avoided eye contact with all the crowds of people, just from fear that someone would approach me. Enough, I'm tired. This day was too much. Now I need to rest.
There are days when I'm ready to talk to every passerby, and there are days when my social battery simply runs out. I've learned to recognize the difference, and most importantly, to respect it.
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