When Pilots and Cocktails Meet at the Island's Busiest Bar
One evening in Moalboal taught me how actually to park a Boeing
📍Moalboal, The Philippines
On my last day in Moalboal, I woke up with a 30-year-old's hangover, which is nothing like a 20-year-old's hangover. Apparently, you forgot how to drink properly, and your body can no longer handle that thing called alcohol.
The night before, I went out intending to have a drink, so I guess mission accomplished... and then some. Coming from Australia's strict alcohol rules, I'm used to "Drink responsibly," but here they served me a 1+1 without even asking. What a difference.
"Well, let's drink both, what could possibly happen?" I told myself, and that was an excellent idea, of course.
Those drink(s) turned into a bar crawl until I found the main bar, where the music is loudest, the people are most drunk, playing snooker, dancing, having fun. I sat there almost finishing my cocktails, yawning between sips because I was already past my bedtime, when a guy sitting at the table across from me approached.
"I noticed you're alone here, and you seem bored. You're welcome to join us if you'd like."
"I'd love to, thanks!" I answered, wondering for a moment if it was the cocktails speaking or me.
One guy was from Spain, the other from Britain. We talked about the amazing island we were on, and they spoke a lot about flights in professional terminology.
"Oh, are you flight attendants?" I asked excitedly. "That was my dream once. I thought it would be a great way to see the world, and I've been in the hospitality industry for a decade already, so it's just doing it in the air, right?"
"Uh... no... he's my boss," said the British guy about the Spanish one, maintaining an air of mystery.
The conversation continued naturally. I told them about myself (because that's what cocktails do), and then they talked about the airline again.
"Wait, so what exactly is your role in the company?"
"Pilots," answered the British guy. "He's the captain, I'm the co-pilot."
Oh! Wow! How cool is that! I was excited like a child. But inside, I was skeptical. Yes, life has taught me not to believe everything I'm told. They're probably just trying to impress me - interesting that this mechanism works even after a few cocktails.
The conversation with them was fascinating. We laughed, talked about places around the world, started playing "Spot the Ladyboy" regarding people at the party, and reached deep conversations about meaning, life itself, and fulfillment.
They told me about their relationships with flight attendants, their work schedules, about how they can't fly over Israel and need to take a detour because for Qatar Airlines it's a security issue. And I listened eagerly because this is a world I know very little about, and it intrigues me.
I've met flight attendants before who told me about the behind-the-scenes of flights, about the importance of seniority, and what flight attendant work is really about. But I've never talked to pilots before. It was fascinating.
They showed me pictures from the cockpit and I got excited like a child. They showed me the most beautiful sunrises, the India-Pakistan border on fire. I told them they could sell these pictures, start a blog or an Instagram page, and I'm sure people would go crazy for it (there's my entrepreneurial mind at work), but they said many people (pilots) see this every shift, and it's no longer interesting.
I explained that mortals like me would love to see the sunrise from the skies every day. And how lucky that the Earth is flat (haha).
They said they could identify countries from a great height, talked about which countries they prefer flying to and which ones they like less. And they talked about their relationships. The Spanish guy has a wife and child currently in Doha, and the British guy has a girlfriend waiting in Britain.
I was very curious how they manage such relationships, and both said it's simply difficult and requires a lot of sacrifice. They said they tell their families not to contact them when they're on a flight, despite having internet access and being able to communicate. This is because if they suddenly receive a message that disturbs them, it's dangerous for all passengers on the plane. After all, the pilot isn't focused and is thinking about something else.
I asked them endless questions. That week, it was reported that a plane turned around because the pilot forgot his passport at home, and I asked them if such a thing couldhappen. They explained that yes, because there are places that will let you through even without a passport, but there are countries like China, for example, that won't let you in no matter what.
I asked them what they do during the flight, because after all it's on autopilot and they're basically "on guard," and I know guard duty is boring. They said they read books, chat, and take sleep shifts. There are always at least two pilots, sometimes three, so one sleeps for an hour, then the other, and that's how they pass a 4-hour 'shift'.
It amuses me to think about such a respected job like being a pilot, with all that responsibility, with the big title, and in the end, they're just passing time on shift.
And then came the really important question - "How the hell do you park that thing?" (The interviewer parks great, and still can't imagine how to park a plane).
They laughed immediately. "Yes, it looks complicated, but it's not a problem at all, it's done automatically. The plane has sensors that scan the environment and identify the sensors at the stopping point and stop by themselves." I was completely surprised.
"Or... you can do it manually," they added. "There's someone who guides you over the radio, and the moment he tells you to stop, you stop. Except sometimes the response time from when you hear until you press the brakes, and until the plane comes to a complete stop, takes a minute, and in that minute you've passed the jet bridge by 5 meters."
"And then what do you do?" I asked, surprised.
"You release the brakes for a second, and the plane rolls backwards. All these runways are on a slight incline, so it's pretty easy." And he told me with embarrassment about that flight where he had to do it 5 times, moving back and forth, so the plane would be exactly at the entrance of the jet bridge.
"Since then, I only park automatically!" he said firmly. We all burst out laughing.
They started talking between themselves, and the British guy said he prefers the guy who navigates with light wands on the landing runway because he's more precise and he can really see and stop quickly. He said these are always funny guys who do silly things with the light wands, and we remembered that viral video where such a guy, guiding the plane, dances with these light wands on the landing runway.
"Wait, and if you're not aligned exactly? What do you do?" They explained that you simply straighten the steering just like in a regular car, a little right, a little left, and you work it out.
I was surprised that with the number of flights I've taken, I've never felt the pilot "parking." They explained to me that you don't feel it at all, these are small movements, and such large planes don't move in sharp motions, so passengers don't feel it at all.
I told them about the flight to Cebu, about the tiny plane that just took off immediately after the doors closed, and about the pilot who went to the bathroom. They laughed and said that in small planes, there are only bathrooms at the back of the plane, and it's quite amusing, but there are always two pilots.
We didn't notice that everyone around us had already left, the street had become quiet, and the waitress approached us, saying they needed to close and she was very sorry to interrupt us.
They offered to walk me back to my hotel. I automatically responded with slight suspicion, but the past few months had taught me an important lesson – not every conversation with strangers comes with hidden intentions. We parted as friends, which reminded me of something I'd recently come to understand: it's possible to form connections with people of the opposite sex without the conversation leading somewhere beyond friendship.
This was something I found difficult to accept at first. I always thought that behind every new acquaintance lurked a romantic motive, but life on the road taught me otherwise – some people simply enjoy good conversation and genuine human connection, without further expectations. And that might be the most beautiful insight I'll take with me from a random night in a noisy bar, long after I've forgotten exactly how to park a Boeing.
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